Weekly Wins 39: Creating Family Values: Why They Matter and How to Instil Them

Why Have Family Values?

Have you ever heard someone (your parents / you as a parent / friends / anyone really) say something like “that’s not what we do in this family”. When I hear this, and to be honest, I hear it more than I would think I would, I immediately think, well what do we do in this family? Enter…. Family values…

Family values are the guiding principles that shape a family's interactions, decisions, and overall dynamic. They provide a sense of identity, stability, and purpose, helping families navigate life's challenges and joys. For parents of neurodiverse and twice-exceptional children, family values can be particularly grounding, offering a consistent framework that supports everyone's unique needs.

1. Identity and Belonging:
Values help define what your family stands for, fostering a sense of belonging and unity. They act as a moral compass, guiding behaviour and decision-making.

2. Consistency and Stability:
Having clear values provides a stable foundation, especially important for neurodiverse children who thrive on predictability and routine.

3. Guidance in Decision-Making:
Values serve as a reference point for making decisions, ensuring that actions align with the family's core beliefs.

4. Building Resilience:
Values encourage resilience by promoting a positive mindset and perseverance in the face of challenges.

How to Instil Family Values

1. Identify Core Values:
Begin by discussing and identifying the core values that resonate with everyone in the family. Consider what qualities you admire and wish to embody, such as empathy, respect, and resilience.

2. Model the Values:
Children learn by observing their parents. Demonstrate the values you wish to instil through your actions and words. For example, show empathy by listening actively and respecting each other's feelings. It’s important to show the values in action so that children know what it looks like, sounds like, feels like to be empathetic for example.

3. Create Traditions:
Establish family traditions that reinforce your values. These can be as simple as weekly family meetings, gratitude rituals or call them Thankful Thursdays!, or community service activities. I can’t explain how awesome community service activities are for instilling values! We volunteer at a local national park doing all kinds of things and this has been the most wonderful way to teach / demonstrate and instil family values in our family.

4. Encourage Open Communication:
Foster an environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. Discuss how family values influence daily decisions and actions.

5. Reinforce Positively:
Acknowledge and celebrate when family members demonstrate the values. Positive reinforcement helps reinforce desired behaviours and attitudes.

6. Adapt and Reflect:
Family values may evolve over time. Regularly reflect on your values and make adjustments as needed to ensure they continue to support your family's growth and well-being. What suited your family when your children were under 6 may not suit you now that they are older.

Examples of Family Values

1. Empathy:
Encouraging understanding and compassion for others' feelings and experiences.

2. Respect:
Treating each other with kindness and consideration.

3. Resilience:
Bouncing back from setbacks and challenges.

4. Inclusivity:
Ensuring everyone feels valued and included.

5. Integrity:
Acting with honesty and strong moral principles.

Creating and nurturing family values is a powerful way to strengthen the bonds within your family. These values provide a sense of identity, stability, and guidance, especially for families with neurodiverse and twice-exceptional children. By identifying, modelling, and reinforcing your core values, you can create a supportive and resilient family environment that honours everyone's unique needs and strengths. You stand together as a team united.

Does your family have values?  Download my free pdf on how to create your own family values!

Much love, 

Alison xx