Weekly Wins 63: What do you do when your family pet dies?

The bond between a child and their pet can be very deep, offering companionship, comfort, and unconditional love. For neurodiverse children, this connection can be even more significant, providing stability and a non-judgmental presence! When such a bond is broken due to the pet’s passing, the resulting grief can be profound and multifaceted.

We experienced this last year and 6 months on, the wounds are still there.

Grief manifests differently in every child, and for neurodiverse children, "expected" (or neurotypical) expressions of grief and sadness at a time like this might not align with typical expectations. Some may exhibit heightened emotional responses, while others might appear detached or unaffected - we experienced both in our household. It’s crucial to understand that these reactions are valid and represent their unique ways of processing loss.

Depending on the child's age, they might struggle with abstract concepts like death. Questions such as “Where did my pet go?” or “Will they come back?” are common. They may also have difficulty verbalising their feelings, leading to frustration or behavioural changes - this can happen even with adults! Maintaining routines is often vital for neurodiverse children, and the absence of a pet can disrupt these patterns, causing additional stress.

Strategies to Support Your Child

1. Open Communication

2. Validate Their Feelings

3. Maintain Routines

4. Create a Memory Ritual

5. Seek Professional Support

6. Look into my resource I created to support parents of neurodiverse children.

 
Our family was so profoundly affected by the loss of our cat that I wrote a resource on it, with deeply personal and vulnerable content that I hope will help other families going through the same heartache.  It's something I wish I had so I could've directed my efforts incrementally better towards a more supportive process.

Remember, every child’s grieving process is truly unique with no time limits.

If you'd like to see more about the resource, please click here.